• Selam now sleeps in her own bed all night. This is HUGE, HUGE, HUGE. Three and a half years of trying, a few bribery attempts, and finally, she just decided to do it.
• We read Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  It rocked.
• Selam is SUPER excited about Mother’s Day. She has a secret that her grandparents helped her with, and something from school–a card, I think. She’s very, very excited. She’s going to be making me breakfast in bed, tomorrow, too. Toast and water.
• We made yogurt pops.  I love them. Selam likes them okay, but she can definitely tell they are made with greek yogurt, which she doesn’t like.  I think I might have to get some regular yogurt for this.
• I had to get tough on TV.  She watches it via netflix, and some bigger kid shows had become interesting, shows she’d heard of from classmates.  After a week, some new vocabulary started to show up, and I had to say no. We’re back to Arthur and Pinky Dinky Doo. The good news is that she hasn’t been as interested in TV lately, because she’s super psyched about reading!  There are some easy books that she’s digging these days because they are chapter books, which is oh-so-grownup.
• The cat officially likes her the best now. 

“Making deals is how we function with other people. ‘If you do this for me, I’ll do this for you in return.’ So it is not surprising for us to try making deals with God. ‘God, if you will spare my husband, I will never take anything for granted again.’” 

Got any ideas?  I’d like to use something bloggy as scaffolding. But then again, maybe not. 

Spent last week with Selam on her spring break.

Also spent it checking the news pages. Nonstop.

As we got closer to our stop, a family joined us, and Selam quickly made friends with two little boys about her age. Their ginger hair matched their mother’s short ‘do. She had the lanyard on, and her little girl–maybe two years old–played with it.  Dad had the stroller, and busied himself counting the stops and staring at the map. 

She spoke with another runner. It was her second Boston, she told him. It was his first. “There’s nothing like the Boston,” she told him. “I can’t wait.” They exchanged information about waves and corrals and busses. “Enjoy!” she said to the young man,  baby on her hip as she exited the subway with us.  Selam bid the two little guys farewell. We both caught the escalator up, up, up, out of the deep and into the brilliant Boston sky. 

Everything spins on a dime. 

I hope they’re okay. 

I’ve lost money.

Cash to be specific. Not thousands of dollars, but definitely more than 20.

I put it in an envelope and put it in a specific place in my apartment.

Then I moved it.

Because I thought the first place wasn’t safe enough.

Now I can’t find it.

It is making me insane.

And worried.

I suspect it will turn up someday, but until then, here, pick up a garbage bag and help me dig.

The upside of all this is that I am clearing out piles of papers and drawers at a rapid speed. If you have to go through the piles anyway, you might as well pitch the stuff that need to be pitched.

At the same time, my finances are also being mildly drained (or trying to be drained) by some desperately needed clothes and shoe shopping. I have this bad habit of buying several of an item at a time, which means that said item(s) all wear out at the same time. Consequently, until I bought 2 pairs a few weeks ago, I spent 2 months with no jeans at all because all 3 pairs literally disintegrated within a month. I don’t blame them. I don’t know how old they were but I do remember wearing them in Delaware.

I moved from Delaware in 2003.

Luckily, Costco sells jeans.

Yeah, I’m classy that way, picking up blue jeans at the same time as my 24 pack of toilet paper rolls.

That year-2003- was apparently the year of the spring/summer trouser, as nearly all work pants (and jeans) that I own look incredibly raggedy and tacky. They are nubby. Some have holes. it’s bad. I’ve been trying to at least replace a few pairs, but so far, no luck. I ordered a pair from a catalog. I hope they come soon. I’m sick of skirts and cords. Too bad I can’t rock Costco jeans at work.

And last, somehow over the last year, my foot has grown. Yes, singular. One foot has grown. My right one. The left one is still the old size. My right foot hurts in nearly all my shoes except for sneakers and boots. Neither of which work with summer clothes. I spent 2 hours tonight, dragging Selam store to store in search of a pair of shoes that I could wear (just one!) that fit both feet. I found nothing.

Am I too young to pull off the sneakers with dress clothes look?

“How sweet!” I thought, and all day ruminated on how wonderful it was that her classmates recognized her sunny disposition.

When I picked her up after school, I asked her about it.

“Who named you that?”

“One of the kids”

“Why do they call you that?”

“Because of my hair.”

“Your hair?”

She gives me a gap-toothed smile, and points to her head. 

Though we had cut her bangs (at her request) a few months ago, Selam mostly wears her hair pushed back in a headband. As the day rolls on, the short hairs begin to stick up in a halo around her head–like the rays of the sun…

“Oh, wow, baby, does that hurt your feelings?”

“Not really. Sunshine is a much prettier name than doo-doo head.”

After applying many times?

The one that I totally threw together an application for this year?

Got in. 

I’m getting better, though.  I feel better today.  I finally gave in and filled a script for stronger pain killers and got a decent sleep last night, which helps.  My face still hurts like crazy, but it’s not as bad, and the lesions are starting to look slightly better, although Selam still says I look disgusting, and I can’t disagree.

I got a mom to substitute for Girl Scouts, but I’m still going to preach on Sunday.  I might not be contagious by then (we’ll see) but either way, I am going to cover the worst of the lesions with a giant bandaid, so I won’t be able to touch my goobers either way.  I’ve named them. The one on my eyebrow, the one I hate the most–her name is Bertha. The giant one on my forehead is Fred, and the little one on my forehead is Bob. The ones in my hair, they get no names, because they’re all undercover. My advice to you? If you ever get shingles, argue long and hard for not getting it on your face and scalp–too dang many nerve endings there.  But if it happens, get yourself some bangs.

I miss Selam.  I’ve had her at after school all week. I drop her off at the playground for school instead of walking in with her.  I pick her up at the back door of the JCC, instead of coming in and talking with her teacher.  I missed Girl Scouts, too, my one thing I do with her and her buds. Tomorrow, she has a church thing for 3 hours, and then ice skating….all good because they keep her busy and happy, but I miss her.  She’s been such a good girl through all of this week.

But in good news, I got another small writing project, and it will pay more money that I can add to the furniture fund.  Yay! The writing project itself is a little intimidating, because there isn’t a lot of guidance, other than the theme and the number of words, but it will be good to do, and fun, I think. And it will also get me my furniture a little bit faster!

Since I’ve been trapped at home for a couple days, I’ve been obsessing about the furniture project a bit. So I think I’ve settled on the IKEA furniture.  I think the ability to replace the covers, if I change my mind, or if my cat decides to redecorate with his claws is sort of a deal maker for me.

So, here’s the dilemma.

My current living room furniture that I’m keeping:

• 2 side tables and a coffee table in light oak, sort of traditional looking, I guess.
• a light oak trunk that my dad made me, that I use as a TV stand.
• 2 fake light oak bookcases–IKEA. One of them is in awful shape and should be replaced, but that’s a project for another day or paycheck.
• a card catalog, scavenged from the library
• a church pew with a bright blue cushion, scavenged from the chapel
• dark blue curtains
• beige rug (but that could go in my bedroom,  I’m not attached to it being in the living room)

I also have kind of a canoe theme going on. There is a half-canoe wall hanging that is green and light oak, and both of my old canoe paddles are hung over the doorways. With the current sofa/love seats, there is a sort of a lodgey feeling going on, I guess. A lodge with a card catalog and a pew. Okay, so I’m a mess. There are some accent pieces in forest green, along with some in blue. I think, other than the canoe wall hanging with its green, I can and will part with the other green things (or paint them).

Anyway, there are two potential sofas from IKEA. Both have machine washable, replacable covers. This one has a cover that I really love, but I’m worried that the overall design of the sofa is too modern for the other more traditional looking stuff in the living room. I can’t afford to change more, and I do like the coffee table/end tables that I have.  What do you think?

I called the doctor, went in and shingles.

Yippee.

So I am supposed to avoid anyone who hasn’t had chicken pox, or the chicken pox vaccine.

Yippee yay. Have I mentioned I’m a girl scout leader?

Just to kick it up a notch, a month ago, they ran a titer of Selam’s blood, to check to see if she had measles as an infant (long story). Anyway, the results of the titer were that not only did she not have measles as an infant, she also shows no evidence of having had the vaccines. twice. (Once in Ethiopia, once here), and we don’t know if she is just resistant to Measles, or if she’s resistant to all vaccines.

Yippee Yay.

Have you met my daughter? Miss touchy, snuggly, touch mommy at all times? So basically, she has been exposed to chicken pox. I guess we’ll know in 10 days if the vaccine worked.

Yippee Yay.

I can’t figure out what to do about Girl Scouts on Thursday.

Or preaching on Sunday.

I feel like preaching is more safe than scouts, since they are adults who can be expected not to touch me. (Sermon is already written).

I am worried about the shingles getting into my eye. Ew. 

So, anyway, since today was a vacation day and all, I started to work on cleaning out my closet, which were/are really, really really bad. I got about half done before I was just totally zonked. So now I have a half cleaned closet (am I the only one for whom cleaning a closet involves creating huge piles of mess all over the room?)

So I decided to go get Selam at after school program. In order to do that, I tried to grab my phone, keys and wallet.

Can’t find phone.

Look everywhere.

No phone.

Get my work cell phone (which is being turned off any minute, but miraculously still works), call myself.

I can hear the buzzing but can’t locate it.

Call again.

I keep walking around, looking for the source of the buzz.

When I’m in the kitchen, it sounds like it’s in the kitchen, but I can’t quite find it.

Living room, same thing.

Yes, I called myself 8 times.

Bedroom

Hallway

Everywhere I went the buzzing was close by but I couldn’t find the phone.

How is this possible, that in every. single. room. the phone sounds close but not quite there.

It was in my hoody pocket.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

My current living room furniture consists of a love seat and sofa that match. Both pieces are 20 years old. Both are scratched to death. The sofa also has 3 holes in it where the stuffing is coming out. The loveseat has two legs that have fallen off and no matter how many times I try to reconnect them, they won’t stay. So the love seat is being held up with old text books.

Yeah, I’m really classy that way.

So, it will cost me 150 to haul away the old broken down furniture. I mean I’ll try to give it away on Craigslist, but nobody in their right mind wants this stuff. That leaves me 850 TOPS (preferably less) to buy something else.  In my ideal world, the something else would be a comfy chair and a loveseat, but I don’t know if I can afford both.  I’d prefer a loveseat to a sofa, as it would give us more space in the living room. I’ve always felt like the furniture was too big for the space in here. So I could do a sofa or loveseat this year, and then maybe next year, get a big comfy reading chair. 

Oh, and I have navy blue curtains, that I’m not interested in replacing, so whatever it is has to go with navy. (Current sofa is burgandy, blue and green plaid. Don’t judge. it was the 1990s.)

So–questions–first color–I was kind of thinking that grey would be a nice change–would go with blue, but be a different look from the current. What else would work?

Then fabric–please tell me there is something that my cat won’t destroy!  One thing I considered was getting an IKEA sofa that has covers to it.  I thought maybe the covers would be less grippy for Sir-Wrecks A Lot, and also if he did wreck it, I could replace the covers without replacing the whole sofa.  I’ve heard that leather is cat-resistant, too, but i have mixed feelings about leather for a sofa. I heard somewhere else that maybe microfiber would work?? What do you think? 

I’d probably get it from IKEA, or maybe Bobs, or sometimes the LL Bean outlet has furniture (though with that, I’d have to rent a truck to get it home, so maybe not the greatest idea).  I’m unlikely to go Goodwill on this one, as bedbugs are so prevalent in the northeast that I’d hesitate.  De-bugging is very expensive.

So what think ye, oh wise ones of the internet???

But that little girl could be my little girl.

And I guess this whole misogynist, racist perfect storm that smacks little brown girls and adult black women is something that I thought that I could hold back a little bit longer, that I thought that I could keep away from the force field of our loving family. That’s what I thought. That’s what I wanted. 

“What if a giant tiger jumped through the window, Mommy, what would you do?” 

“I’d jump on his head and spin him in circles til he was dizzy. That’s what I’d do.” 

“What if he was really big and was rushing to my bed?”

“I’d swoop you up and stash you on the ceiling until I shooed him out the door?”

“But what if…”

“No matter what you say, I’ll find a way.” 

“Because Mommy’s always here.” 

“Yes, Mommy is always here. Now, brush your teeth.”