Another One

“Don’t you want another one?”

In fact, yes I do.

In fact, the plan all along was for two–a twin set of girls not unlike my own childhood.  I fully expected to be halfway on a plane by now.

But things change.

The scholarship program that made adoption remotely possibly for me ended.

The economy —well, we all know about the economy.

I thought about trying foster to adopt, but it just seems too overwhelming for Selam, for a little girl who is still trying to make sense of what’s permanent and what’s for now.  I can’t put uncertainty in her life on purpose. At least not for now. Maybe when she’s older.

Then again, maybe not.

It may be that this is our family. One adult, one child, one cat.  It has its disadvantages of course, but there are advantages, too.

Selam has a pretend family, you know. A daddy, three siblings and roughly 200 animals. They mostly live behind our sofa. She talks about them all the time.

“Do you wish you had real brothers and sisters, Selam?”


She is surprised that I asked.

“I think there are lots of kinds of families, mommy.”

She sounds like our favorite Todd Parr book.

“Some have daddies and some don’t. Some have brothers or dogs or extra mommies….”

“I see.”

“Our family just has one of everything. That’s just the way it is.”

“So you don’t think it would be good to get a brother or sister?”

“Mommy, we’re a just one family.”


“But we can still get a puppy.”

8 thoughts on “Another One

  1. Susan, she has a good playmate who has two mommies, but she met Mommy #1 considerably before meeting mommy #2. Mommy #1 was at the train station to pick us up coming home from Ethiopia. For at least a year, she referred to them as Miss C, and “the other Miss C”. Because, you know if you have two mommies, obviously they have the same name, too! Calling Mommy #2 the extra Mommy (and by her correct name) is a step in the right direction!

  2. And Anna, I am QUITE grateful that you do not live here. There will be no puppies. First of all, landlord doesn’t allow it, and second of all, really? I’m working hard enough to keep two beings alive as it is–and one of them will drink out of the toilet if I forget water–I do not need a third!

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