I’ve never been one to join a lot of random contests and whatnot.  Oh sure, I’ll throw my name and email address into a jar at a drawing in a store, but I rarely do anything more challenging than that.

But lately, I’ve been joining up.  I’ve been signing up for facebook fan pages of products and tweeting and commenting–all for contests, all to win stuff.  I’m still choosy.  I don’t enter anything unless I actually want it, and would not otherwise be able to buy it.  I even went to great effort to unenter a contest that I accidentally entered, for a product I wouldn’t actually use. I did once randomly win an XBox, which I returned right away to the agency, so that they could give it so someone else who would use it more.  So I’m not greedy, I don’t think.

But still, where before I’d pass these things up, thinking, “I’ll never get that, and besides I’ll just get spammed,” these days I sign up.

I’ve had a string of bad luck.  Everything I try for lately just doesn’t go my way.  It’s not the end of the world. We are housed, clothed and fed, but after sincerely applying for great opportunities-mostly for Selam but also for me, and not getting them over and over, I’m a little weary.  And in some unbloggable things that really matter, I’m having a hard time getting what is not just wanted, but needed.  There’s a sense that justice just isn’t accessible, that knowing the right person or being the right kind of person demographically is how to acquire what one needs or has earned or just wants.

So I enter contests.  I hope for boxes of arts and crafts supplies and books and water bottles with Selam’s face on them. I put my name and email address into rafflecopters and hope that something will come my way, our way, that some little trinket will wind through the mail and prove that all of it is random, that good work is its own reward, and the other goodies are purely released from tiny helicopters, raining down without concern about who you know or what you look like.  I want trinkets and opportunities and met needs to be like grace–free and blind.



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