crowd source parenting again

So, first of all writing workshop? Wonderful. More on that later. 
I’m actually thinking of some crowd source parenting right now.  
A few months ago, Selam tried out for a girls choir. It’s a competitive group. 3000 girls tried out and they took under 200.  What an honor! I was so surprised when we got the letter today! 
The down side? This group is not a non-profit. It is a choir school. They charge tuition.  Adding everything together–uniform, deposit, and monthly tuition, it comes up to a significant chunk of change, a chunk that is too large for me, most likely. 
Now, we could maybe swing it if a couple of circumstances were met. First of all, if we got some scholarship money, which you can apply for (but you have to pay a deposit for the group before they tell you if you get any), AND if I used it as childcare one day a week (the rehearsals are from 3:30-5:30.  If she were in the group that meets nearish to work, I could use my lunch hour to pick her up from school and get her to rehearsal, which would save me some after-school care money.  But we’d also probably need to drop iceskating and maybe  dance, too. 
Why would it be good to do? Well, this group teaches music reading, and sight singing along with choral technique–these are good and important things.  Also, a lot of girls from her school are in it, and so far, she doesn’t do anything with other kids from school, so that might be a nice entree. Last, if she sticks with it, there are great opportunities. The older girls travel all over the world. 
Why wouldn’t it be good to do? Well, it’s a big time commitment, and if we have to drop other things, there is the risk of dropping the thing that she’s really good at in exchange for something that she’s maybe not the best at.  Today, I saw about 5 minutes of her dance class. She’s good. She’s really, really good at that. 
My crowd source question is this: How do you know where to put your money and energy?  If I were to ask her (I’m not going to do that), she’d want to be in all of them. I know she would be excited about the choir, but I don’t know what she’d say to needing to drop dance to do choir. I don’t think she’s old enough to choose. 
The other crowd source is how much is too much? She’s in girl scouts. That’s a required (you can’t quit if your mom is the leader). Right now, she’s in dance (ballet in the school year, and hip hop in the summer), and then she did a session –8 weeks–of ice skating last year. I feel like she’s on the cusp of being a decent ice skater, and would like her to do another session, just to have the basics down. She LOVES it, though, and wants to be in the olympics, when she’s not busy being a ballerina and a rock star. 
I guess it’s a good problem to have.  School is hard for her, so it’s good that she’s got these other talents to help plump up the old self esteem. What think ye? What would you do if you were the mama bear?

4 thoughts on “crowd source parenting again

  1. Just writing to say . . . I have no idea. But these are great problems to have! Congratulations to Selam on getting into the choir. And all her other great talents!

  2. Oh, this is always a tough one. My impulse is to say that if it’s something you think she’d really enjoy, and teaches skills you think are important, it’s worth serious consideration–especially since it might help her strengthen relationships with other kids from her school (and maybe you can work out a carpool arrangement with one or more of the school parents). But only if the financial aid comes through, and only if she can keep dance–that seems like something she’s both passionate about and really good at, and worth making a priority.

    My sense is that 2 or 3 activities is a reasonable number for most kids– some powerhouse kids with powerhouse parents do a lot more, and more power to them, but with our work schedules and S’s needs three was the max. For most of her elementary years we tended to go with music lessons [L’s requirement], Hebrew school [mine], and something of S’s own choice, usually gymnastics or circus.

    If choir seems like too much for Selam, can she drop it at any point in the year for a partial refund?

  3. I’d say don’t drop dance. I would ask the chances of getting a scholarship and the probable amount before making a decision on choir.

  4. I read the fine print better, and found out that I didn’t need to jake the full deposit–just part of it, in order to find out if I get financial aid. So we wait…

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